Pain is the best friend of the addicted person. One of the very important skills for family members to learn is to be able to allow the addicted person to feel the consequences of their behavior. The family member may be addicted to trying to make a positive outcome happen for the addicted person. In the process of trying to make things better, walking on egg shells, and of taking care of the addicts responsibilities the family members protect the addicted person from feeling the pain that they need to feel in order to change in some way.
Developing boundaries is so important for the family member. It is important for the family member gradually understand that their loved one's addiction is not their problem. Their loved one's addiction effects them but it is not the issue they have to learn to manage. Families must learn to manage their response to their loved one's addiction in a way that is healthy for them and their whole family.
It is very important for family members to get support and learn the facts about addiction.