Today I want to comment on a wonderful resource. It is a book entitled "Love First" and it is written by Jeff Jay and Debra Jay. This book will give you clear ideas about ways you can approach the problem of addiction in your family that will have the greatest chance of success for the addict and the rest of the family.
One of the early chapters in the book "Love First" is "Eleven Misconceptions about Chemical Dependency" and the first misconception listed is "An alcoholic or addict must be ready for help before he can be helped."
As we discussed in earlier posts, pain is the best friend of the addicted person. When the addict is allowed to feel the consequences of their addiction they have a greater chance of seeking help. Why? Not because they want to stop using their drug of choice but because they want the pain to go away. This pain may be legal, social, economic, such as threatened loss of a job, medical, threatened loss of family, or access to children. The hope is that during treatment they will start to develop the desire and the skills to remain in recovery over the long run.
If you are doing the life tasks for an addicted person that they should be doing for themselves you are buffering the addict from the consequences of their addiction and unintentionally enabling the addiction. There is another chapter in the book "Love First" that is titled "Good intentions can take you down the wrong road" I believe this book is an important resource for people struggling with addiction in their families.