Tuesday, March 06, 2007

"The Revised 12 Steps"

This is from the "Adult Children of Alcoholics" Communicator -March 1990 - Council Bluffs Iowa - Enjoy and Learn!!

1.We admitted we were powerless over nothing. We could manage our lives perfectly and we could manage those of anyone else that would allow it.

2.Came to believe that there was no power greater than ourselves, and the rest of the world was insane.

3.Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and their lives over to our care.

4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.

5.Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of their wrongs.

6.Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.

7.Demanded others to either "shape up or ship out".

8.Made a list of anyone who had ever harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them.

9.Got direct revenge on such people whenever possible except when to do so would cost us our own lives, or at the very least, a jail sentence.

10.Continued to take inventory of others, and when they were wrong, promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11.Sought through nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and so things our way

12.Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

Anyone who is struggling with addiction in their family needs information and support to accomplish the things that will bring them into a healing process. There is a lot of emotional pain generated by this disease. Isolation, trying to maintain the status quo, and walking on eggshells only make it worse.

Everyone takes on some type of role for emotional survival when the family is struggling with addiction. It is important to understand that roles adopted for survival can also be the role that will destroy.

When you begin to reach out you can learn about what you are doing that is healthy for you and learn what you need to change for your own well being.


Younger Leo said...

A good method.

Regards. Younger Leo Blog

Anonymous said...

The harder I tried the worse the situation became. My husband has been an Ice addict for 11 years & through my years of searching for helpful information to guide ME I came across your blog. Thank God I did! I do everything an enabler does & my addict husband goes by the book of an addict, how truly eye opening.
My favourite piece is, "if their lips are moving then they're lying".
Thank you for this wonderful blog it's an eye opener & a friend ( I know that sounds stupid but for the first time I feel understood ).
Do you have a book I could purchase?
I have ordered Jeff & Debra Jay's book, 'Love First'.
I fight a battle everyday in isolation due to his behaviour & lies, my in laws (dysfunctional) pamper to him & blame me.
Thank you so much for helping me see the light at the end of tunnel.