Thursday, June 07, 2007

Family Dymanics in Addiction

If you want to know the bare facts about addiction you can find the information on the internet. If you want to start family healing as a result of having an addicted person in your family you need to get support, reach out, as well as learn information and gradually learn to practice some new behavior skills within your family.

What family members have told me that has worked for them, was to build a team within the family. Team building, getting on the same page, working together in their interactions with each other and toward the addicted person in their lives has made an improvement in the quality of their family life.

Family members describe feeling better and feeling more empowered as they work toward building a team. Being on the "same page" when interacting with the addicted person in their family helps the family give clear messages to their addicted loved one about what the family expects. None of these families have reached any perfect goal and a perfect goal may not be possible but the process of working together has begun the healing and empowering process.

What this might mean to begin with is to find the one thing that family members can agree on rather than focusing on what they don't agree on. Many times family members agree on a lot more that they think they do, but how they think the issue should be solved is different. Rather than jumping to individual solutions learn to slow down and learn about each other and learn to respect the way each person is responding to the stress.

The only way healing can take place in a family with a loved one who has the disease of addiction is through the family learning how to build a team and learn to have boundaries between them and the addict and to operate within those boundaries with flexibility and teamwork.

This is important. Family members have described how healthier the family dynamics are when they are working to be a team. They may not agree on everything but are willing to talk with each other about their concerns. Getting support and education is very important in this process.

There is one thing I can tell you. Addiction with in a family has a corrosive effect and will destroy your family unless you are willing learn to work together and learn respect each other.

No comments: