As you can see I have not posted additional information for about a month. I am taking a break until the new year. There is plenty of information and links on this blog to keep everyone busy for awhile.
It is important to remember that the key to family recovery is to work on your own issues. The more focused and obsessed you become with the addicted person in your life the less ready you will be to be helpful to them or yourself.
The addicted person will attempt to manipulate you and will tell you what you want to hear to get what they want. This is not personal this is what addicted people do to everyone, it is the nature of the disease of addiction.
Don't get sucked into their words, observe their behavior without trying to manipulate it. Don't take their behavior personally. It's not about you, they can't see beyond their own needs so when they are selfish, self centered, manipulative and irresponsible the correct response from you is not "oh my god, look what they are doing now." But it is "of course, that's what addicts do."
One more thing, allow them to feel the pain they create in their lives. Too many times the family members take on that pain and that is the wrong thing to do and it delays the chances that the addicted person will seek help.